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                      排行榜最高的搞笑句子,精辟逗比,解憂必備!

                      內容編輯:好句子網 內容欄目: 句子摘抄
                      排行榜最高的搞笑句子,精辟逗比,解憂必備!

                      一、別總抱怨你的手機卡,你自己要是每天面對著你這張臉好幾個小時,你不也得自殺啊?

                      二、電風扇是人類最好的朋友,我問電風扇我長的丑嗎?風扇默默地搖了一晚上的頭。

                      三、昨天做夢夢到對象死了,哭的好慘,今天醒來發現根本沒對象,哭得更慘了。

                      四、雖然你身上噴了古龍水,但我還是能隱約聞到一股人渣味兒。

                      五、如果你不是一個真正的吃貨,那么你永遠也不會了解到,“但是,我吃飽了”和“我吃飽了,但是”這兩句話的天壤之別。

                      七、父親問我,人生有什么追求。我回答金錢和美女,父親兇狠的打了我的臉。我回答事業與愛情,父親贊賞地摸了我的頭。中國漢字,博大精深。

                      八、閨蜜和她老公的感情很好,有次我問她:如果你老公有小三了,你會和他離婚嗎?她斜著眼看著我說:我這輩子就不會離異,只會喪偶。

                      九、昨天兒子問我:“爸爸,你說體重可不可以打折啊!”我回答說:“傻孩子,體重怎么能打折。”兒子接著說:“媽媽說讓我少吃點飯,不然長成爸爸你這樣肥頭大耳該被小朋友嘲笑了?我還心想和米飯商量一下,我多吃點,讓它給我打打個折呢!”

                      十、覺得生活沒意思了,活不下去了,拿起鏡子,看看自己,那么美那么可愛的一張臉,舍得辜負,舍得糟蹋嗎?

                      十一、不要老問我在不在,我說在,你找我借錢怎么辦,我說不在,你請我吃飯怎么辦,所以直接說什么事,我好決定我在不在。

                      十二、去買水,老板說兩塊,我說瓶子上寫著建議零售價一塊五啊?老板說:“我不接受他的建議!”

                      十三、王思聰說過,我交朋友不管他有錢沒錢,反正都沒我有錢,他的這份自信和我很相像,我交朋友也不看別人有錢沒錢,反正都比我有錢。

                      十四、如果太陽不出來了,我就不去上班了;如果出來了,我就繼續睡覺。

                      十五、我龍袍加身,我富可敵國,我權傾一方,我揮金如土,我博學多才,我智勇雙全,我英俊瀟灑,我風流倜儻,我萬眾矚目!再喝兩杯我更能吹。

                      十六、心情不好的時候,我就半夜給別人打騷擾電話,把他們吵醒了,我就睡覺。

                      十七、我佩服過三個男人,一是許仙,二是董永,三是寧采臣。一個敢愛蛇,一個敢愛仙,最后一個連鬼也不放過。

                      十八、當今這個時代,如果有一天真的男女平等了,我想高興的不是女人,而是我們男人。

                      贊助推薦

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